On today we pause to recognize that not all LGBTQ children are able to call their mom on Mother’s Day. Some of these relationships were severed by the parent(s) because of their childs sexuality. TUV Magazine has been intentional about creating space to open the dialogue for parent(s) to have positive examples of how to form and build healthy relationships with their child regardless of their sexuality.

For many youths breaking the news to mom and dad can be the scariest part of “Coming Out!” Time and time again we’ve heard horror stories of children being immediately removed from the home.

According to the Trevor Project “Family rejection on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity can have extreme effects on LGBTQ youth. In one study, lesbian, gay and bisexual youth who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs and 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse, compared to peers from families that reported no levels of family rejection. As a result of family rejection, discrimination, criminalization and a host of other factors, LGBTQ youth represent as much as 40% of the homeless youth population. Of that population, studies indicate that as many as 60% are likely to attempt suicide.”

Today we present four examples of loving and supportive relationships between a mother and their child. This is our way of starting a converstation that is long overdue in the Black Community!

Thelma Ward and Faye Wilson

Q: Why is it important for a mother to love their child regardless of their sexual orientation?

Proverbs 22:6

A: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Teach your child to Love God First! Themselves and others. Love shapes their character, and self-esteem. As a mother your child is a representative of you. Therefore, whoever they become in life; you should not be ashamed to own who your child is. You must love your child unconditionally, the way that God loves us.

Shuria Holmes and Yolanda Chambers

Q: Why is it important for a mother to love their child regardless of their sexual orientation?

A: As a mother you always want the best for your children. There was a time in our relationship that I didn’t know how to love my daughter. But with God’s help I eventually learned that I should love her regardless of her sexual orientation.

The number one reason for me was that love never fails. Secondly, Shuria is my daughter, why wouldn’t I love her?  I brought her into this world and she’s the love of my life. Lastly, children need their parents. They need us emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Even when our children become adults we should be there for them. It is important to maintain a loving relationship with them to help with their life changes.

I’ve watched my daughter strive to do and be the best she could be.  Watching her strive made be love her even more regardless of what she does and who she is. As a mother I will always support her because I would want people to treat me the same way. It’s important to sometimes put yourself in a person’s shoes to understand the importance of needing to feel loved. Shuria is my best friend and she’s the best daughter a mother could ask for. The love for my daughter is in my heart forever.  I love Shuria.

Kevin Williamson and Suzette Elrod

Q:Why Is It Important For Mothers To Love Their Children Regardless Of Sexual Orientation?”

A: Love is the universal language we all desire and encompasses every situation including my child’s sexual orientation.  As the Mother of a gay son, I knew it was my responsibility to provide a nurturing, nonjudgmental environment to prepare him for the challenges ahead.  A foundation of emotional support, respect, attention, validation and love was required to prepare him for adulthood.  It was important to convey to him and peers in similar situations that sexual orientation should not stop them from becoming contributing members of society.

When my son came out to me, I was afraid and felt the need to protect him from the harshness and dangers he could potentially face from family members and the general public.  I had to develop thick skin and help him to do the same so that we could stand firm in the face of prejudice, bullying, fear and other forms of mistreatment.  I also had to be forgiving, open minded and compassionate with a willingness to listen, learn and possess the strength to stand up for him.  I was prepared to make any necessary adjustment for the love of my son.

My relationship with my son has been strengthened by all that we have gone through.  Lots of prayers and love were essential.  We have overcome and sacrificed so much together.  I could not imagine my life without him.  If my son requires my assistance under any circumstances, I am only a phone call away.  A Mother’s love, My Love for him, is deep, pure, unconditional, accepting, and crucial, and it will remain for a lifetime.

Barbara Wright and Glen Kimbrel-Allen

Q: Why is it important as a mother for you to love your LGBTQ child? 

A: It’s important for me to love my LGBTQ Child is because before there was ever a decision, a thought, or even an idea he was my Child the love of my life. I loved him then and I love him even more now because he lives in his TRUTH!